Daniel had stood up quietly, unable to speak after Sophie's confession. He'd opened and closed his mouth several times, but no words came out as he looked down on her angelic face streaked with tears. Instead, he'd honored Sophie's request.
He'd left her alone.
And Sophie had felt her heart break as new tears swelled up in her eyes, spilling down her cheeks, though she didn't feel a single one.
It really was over.
She'd taken the leap…
And he was still standing on the cliff.
It really was over.
**
He managed to walk back across the lane where his cousin Cassie was waiting. "Well?" she asked, concerned at his downcast face. "Everything okay?"
"It's over, Cas," he said softly, unable to meet her questioning eyes. "I blew it."
"Oh, Daniel…" Cassie said, laying a comforting hand on his shoulder. "What do you mean, it's over? It can't be over. It's just a misunderstanding. A silly, stupid misunderstanding. She's not unreasonable - look, I'll go over there right now, she'll talk to me…"
"It's not that, Cas," Daniel said, his voice dead. "It's not about finding you in my room. It's about me being an emotionally stunted fuckwit."
"Oh," Cassie said, hopping up on the bonnet of the car as Daniel leaned against it, his arms crossed and his head down, as though waiting for punishment.
Or absolution.
"What did she say?"
"Nothing that wasn't true," Daniel said. "I mean, we spend all this time together, I can't seem to go more than five minutes without seeing her, I'm always wanting to protect her from the world, and yet, I can't seem to…"
"Let yourself believe that it's love you're feeling?"
"I thought I was dead to that, Cas. After Rosa, I just… I really thought I was dead to feeling that way."
"You can't be dead to love," Cassie said with a laugh. "All those things you just described, all that you are feeling – it's called love, Coz, and you've got it bad."
"I know…" Daniel whispered, finally admitting it. "Too bad I just fucking blew it."
"Maybe not," Cassie said with a warm smile. "You just have to tell it to Sophie, not me."
"But I…"
"Do you want to be with her?"
"Yes."
"Do you miss her already?"
"Yes."
"Do you need her?"
"Yes."
"Congratulations," Sophie said gently. "You're in love."
Daniel nodded. "I know," he said quietly. "I just seem to have trouble saying the words out loud."
"Well, you better practice, Coz, because if you don't, you're going to lose her," Cassie said seriously. "Game over."
"Game over," Daniel repeated, his voice still a whisper. "Got it."
**
After Sophie had cried herself dry slumped next to the front door, she came to a realization.
She was done.
Done with the waiting and the crying.
Done with hoping Daniel felt the same way.
In fact, right now, done with men all together.
Standing up, she went to the bathroom to wash her face, and then went upstairs to change clothes. It was time for a new Sophie – time to leave behind all the emotional baggage of the last few days and start anew, starting with a shower and some makeup, she thought, catching sight of herself in the shower.
She'd done it before, she could do it again.
Keeping her head held high, Sophie went back downstairs, determined to stay busy today, and to start focusing on being herself – not herself plus one, whoever the 'plus one' was.
She quickly and efficiently cleaned the kitchen, the bathroom and put in a load of sheets to wash and dry.
She prepped a few things for a late lunch and made a grocery shopping list.
She snipped a few flowers in the garden for bud vases and straightened out a few bills and sorted the mail for Auntie Barbara.
She did everything at a brisk clip, afraid that if she slowed down in the least, all the feelings she'd been avoiding for the last few hours would come crashing back, suffocating her.
And that just wasn't going to happen.
Finally, physically exhausted, Sophie carried a mug of tea and a stack of invoices into the conservatory, promising herself a couple of hours of work for the shop so that she could return to Belletristic all caught up on Monday.
The sun was warm on her back as she sat down, and for the millionth time she marveled at how green everything outside the windows was. The fields swayed in the breeze, the roses losing a petal here and there in the garden like colourful confetti, the leaves shaking in the trees.
She'd come to love this place – it was home now. More home than anywhere had ever been.
She knew part of that was Daniel – he had made this feel like home for her too – but not entirely. She'd managed to stand on her own two feet, thus proving Peter wrong.
She really was home.
Her eyes swam with tears at the thought of not being here, but she quickly blinked them away, concentrating instead on sorting and stacking the invoices, making everything neat and efficient and ready for action.
She jumped at the sound of tapping on the glass, and looked up to see a very dejected-looking Daniel looking back at her with a slightly pleading expression in his eyes.
"I'm not a stalker," he said with a self deprecating smile. "But I think there are things to say, if you'll let me."
Sophie swallowed hard, her stomach churning anew, but realized that they needed closure – just like she and Peter did. Maybe not screaming and shouting closure, but closure just the same. She nodded curtly, and then stood to unlock the conservatory door before retreating to the couch, pulling her legs up under her protectively.
"You're right," Sophie said. "There are things to say."
"And this time, I'm going to do all the talking," Daniel said firmly, pulling over a chair close to the couch and sitting down. "I owe you that."
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